Workability

How many times have you gotten stuck on a thought? Perhaps they sound like the following

"I'm stupid"

"I'm fat"

"I'm worthless"

"I can't do anything right"

"I will always be this way"

One of my favorite things to do that I learned in therapy is to challenge sticky thoughts with looking at the evidence, with analyzing whether I'm missing important aspects, or perhaps thinking in too much a of black and white way. Sometimes this works, and I'll start feeling better. Other times it does not work and I find myself still stuck on a troublesome thought.

I notice that when I'm stuck on a thought like those listed above, I'll often find myself numbing the feelings that come up from that thought. I might raid the pantry for a cookie, or decide a glass of wine sounds really nice right now. Maybe I binge watch a netflix series, or maybe I just sit on the couch with the same thought running over and over and over in my head. Sometimes I get stuck just arguing with myself about the evidence for and against, making a heroic effort trying to make myself feel better, but it just does nothing. I've also been sitting on the couch for 30 minutes without taking any action towards anything.

Enter the idea of ''workability''. What if we stopped trying to look at the evidence for or against something, and if we evaluated it based on whether the thought helps us move towards the life we want to live or not? For example, when the thought ''I'm stupid'' enters my head, instead of rummaging in my brain for all the instances I demonstrated my intelligence, compared against all the instances I made an unwise decision or failed a math test, I could drop the search for true or false altogether. I could ask myself ''does giving attention to the thought I'm stupid move me away or towards the life I want?''

Suddenly I'm no longer concerned with if "I'm stupid" is true or false. Now I'm giving attention to what focusing on that thought DOES. Usually ruminating on "i'm stupid" makes me sit around and worry, sit around and feel bad, and possibly try to numb with something. Ok, that sounds like moving me AWAY from the life I want. Alternatively, what will happen if I simply let the thought exist "I'm stupid" and then divert attention to something that matters to me?

So actions or attention on thoughts are ''workable'' when they move us towards the life we want. They are unworkable when they move us away. We can divert attention away from the hunt for good/bad or true/false and focus on what WORKS. It kind of sucks out a lot of the judgement of something being intrinsically good or bad under any and all circumstances. Whether something is workable depends on how you want your life to be, and under what circumstance the thought or behavior is occurring.

Dr Russ Harris suggests in his book ''ACT Made Simple" to evaluate a thought by asking yourself

"If you let this thought guide your behavior, will that help you create a richer, fuller, and more meaningful life?" and

"If you hold on to this thought tightly, does it help you to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do?"

The thought itself of "I'm stupid" is not the problem. Everyone probably thinks that a time or two. It's what we do with the thought that ends up moving us away or towards our goals. It's how much meaning we give to the thought "i'm stupid" that thrusts us in one direction or another.

So the next time you notice a thought like "I'm stupid" run across your brain, ask yourself if it's workable? And if it's not, maybe shift your focus towards stuff that is.

Harris, R. (2019). ACT made simple: an easy-to-read primer on acceptance and commitment therapy (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.

<a href="https://www.magnific.com/free-photo/image-frustrated-young-man-failing-feeling-upset-making-facepalm-from-regret-standing-disappointed-against-white-background_24436071.htm">Image by cookie_studio on Magnific</a>